Heartbreak
by Crazy Twilight Lover
Summary: What if, in New Moon, Bella tried to commit suicide? This is the poem she writes to her father explaining why she wants to die. A bit of sadness and lots of broken love. A poem of EXB. Now a two-shot. New chapter added, explaining how it ended.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N-This is my first poem for Twilight (I **_**only**_** write for Twilight anyways) and I don't know how good it is...so please tell me. I don't care if you criticize it--in fact, that's probably good since I'll know what's good and what's bad...So, I'll stop blabbing now and just type.**

**This is about when Edward leaves Bella in New Moon. What if Bella **_**was**_** trying to commit suicide when she jumped off the cliff? This is the letter she wrote to Charlie explaining her choice. I know, it's sad, but please just read it, for Hades sake.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, however much I wish I do.**

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Heartbreak

-----

I'm sorry Dad. I can't go on.

He left me, my one love.

My Edward won't ever come back.

It's true, all of the above.

-----

My heart is gone, as is my will.

I wish no more to live.

I'm looking for my Romeo.

His love, he'll never give.

-----

I'm sorry, Dad. Your daughter's gone.

She'll never be the same.

She's broken beyond repair.

Her fiery soul will not be tame.

-----

He crushed my heart in his fist.

He shattered my deep soul.

I cannot live without Edward.

Without him, I am not whole.

-----

I'm sorry, Dad. I can't go on.

Death is my only will.

Forgive my sweetheart for me.

To him my heart belongs to still.

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**A/N-So, how was it? Flames are allowable, as are good reviews. REVIEW ANYWAYS AND I WILL BE HAPPIER THAN WHEN I GOT A 104% ON MY LITERATURE GRADE! Wait...what am I talking about now?...Oops...I'm getting off topic...REVIEW!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note-This was supposed to be a one-shot, but then I got to wondering how it would end, so I finished it. So now it's a two-shot. Hope you like it, and I know it is very different from the usual ones!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but parts of the plot.**

Chapter 2

Resealed

I Dreamed A Dream

I dreamed a dream in time gone by  
When hope was high and life worth living  
I dreamed that love would never die  
I dreamed that God would be forgiving

But the tigers come at night  
With their voices soft as thunder  
As they tear your hope apart  
As they tear your dream to shame

He slept a summer by my side  
He filled my days with endless wonder  
He took my childhood in his stride  
But he was gone when autumn came

And still I dream he'd come to me  
That we would live the years together  
But there are dreams that cannot be  
And there are storms we cannot weather

I had a dream my life would be  
So different from this hell I'm living  
So different now from what it seemed  
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed

-Broadway Play "Les Miserables"

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**Third Person Point of View**

She shoved the ancient keys carelessly into the ignition, listening for what would surely be the last time to the rumbling roar of the truck. Her drawn, pale, and weary face could hardly be recognized as the same face that had been touched by true love, that had laughed with, admired...him.

She shuddered away from the memories. After _he_ had left, she couldn't even listen to classical music anymore without breaking down. Couldn't bear to see her blue blouse. Couldn't read Jane Austen's books that mentioned his name. It was pathetic. _She_ was pathetic.

She was glad that Jake had been called to an emergency meeting with the pack. He would no doubt try to stop her, and being the seven foot tall strong werewolf, he would have won. Victoria had been spotted lurking near the Forks forests, and Embry had alerted Sam, who had in turn called together the pack. But she didn't care. In fact, at this point, she would dearly welcome the attack of the vengeful vampire.

Many people had ways to cope with the pain when a loved one left them. Some moved on. Some grew depressed. Some cut themselves, or committed suicide. She merely pushed it all away, obtained the traits of a zombie.

But now...now she was done. Done wallowing in self-pity. Done grieving for _him_, done living, done with life. There was no point in being alive anymore if she had to wake up every morning and know that _he_ didn't love her anymore.

Now, it was just _him_. She couldn't bear to even think of his name. Edw--but she could never get the word past that point.

If it weren't for Jacob, she would have done this sooner. Would have jumped from the cliff, to end this miserable existence. After all, what was life for when there was no will to live? When your world was forever dark, after an explosion of brilliant light? When she was blinded by...love?

There was no point denying it now.

She was broken. And nothing could change it.

Almost before she knew it, she found herself at the edge of the cliff. Jacob had promised to bring her here for cliff-diving, but wouldn't it be a better thing to end her miserable existence here?

She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, savoring the smell of the wind and tasting the spray of sea salt on her tongue. Perfect. The last things she'll remember before her death. People always said that oceans were wonderful.

She jumped.

The wind battled her on the way down, trying to whip her this way and that while gravity pulled her steadily towards the tossing waves, looking more and more like a mirror ready to be shattered by her body. The white crests of the waves foamed, hitting her in the face with salty water. Then she hit the surface and went deep, deep under.

At first, it felt so good. Like her life was willing to end.

But then, as she bobbed up once more, her lungs involuntarily made her open her mouth and breathe. It broke the rhythm of her death. Now, instead of calmly waiting for the darkness, her body fought back. Her limbs, of their own accord, thrashed wildly and her hands churned through the water. Her clothes, which had before been thankfully helping her die, weighed her down. It was no different on the outside, but the way she looked at death now was not the same.

_I'm really going to die_, she realized. And she quietly accepted that. At least she had been able to put her thoughts down on paper for her father.

She slipped back under, determined not to fight the water. She let her face go below the glassy waves, and felt at peace with herself. It was alright. The darkness was waiting to whisk her away. There would be no pain.

The blackness gathered at the edges of her mind, swiftly moving in. Now there was only a tiny pinprick of light; the rest of her brain was dead.

Arms held her suddenly. The microscopic part of her mind that was still able to process information knew that the water was cold. But these arms were _too_ cold to be the waves. Death's arms, perhaps?

No. She suddenly remembered. Remembered the way _he_ held her, the way his arms went around her body, one on her back, one behind her knees. Just like the arms holding her now were like.

But he left. He was gone.

Her face broke the surface and she spluttered weakly, each breath bringing scorching salt down her throat. Every hoarse wheeze was painful.

"Oh Bella. Why? Why, Bella?" an angel's voice cried out to her. Instinctively, she reached out for the voice, tried to hold onto the familiar tone before it slipped through her fingers. She opened her eyes and met twin molten gold pools.

"Edward," she choked, and coughed up and lot of seawater. He slung her across his back, swimming strongly through the waves toward shore. All the while, he scolded her desperately for trying to kill herself. The one word he kept repeating was, Why?

"How could you do this to yourself, Bella?" Edward cried. "Why? You were supposed to move on. You were supposed to pretend that I never existed. Why would you kill yourself?"

Her eyes were hazy, distorting his face so that it was a white and bronze blur. His eyes were pitch black.

"Edward?" she slurred. The darkness gathered once more at the edges of her vision, tying her down and making her limbs feel so heavy, so heavy. What was her angel doing here, if he didn't love her? "What...what are you doing?"

His eyes blazed by dark fire. "How could you think of killing yourself, Bella?! A world where you don't exist..."

"But you don't love me anymore."

"A lie," he murmured. He leaned down and kissed her cheek, her throat, the corner of her lips. But he dared not cover her mouth with his own for fear that she would push him away, repulsed.

Bella shook her head. "But...you said..."

Edward's eyes sparkled, but not with gladness. "Bella, I lied to you to protect you. I swear. These past few months have been hell, and I would have done anything to have you in my arms again. A world where you do not exist would be my own personal hell. I would give up all that I had to save you. Can't you see? Can't you see that I still love you? Why are you so blind that you can believe the lie in a heartbeat, but not the truth? I love you!"

She sighed and coughed up more seawater.

"I need to get you out of here," Edward muttered to himself. He picked Bella up bridal style and stood.

"But...E-Edward...what about the truce? You're on Quileute land."

"I'd do anything for you, Bella. And that includes passing the treaty border and possibly having my head ripped off. So long as _you_ still live. But tell me," and here, his expression became stormy, as stormy as the rain pelting down on them, "_what in the world were you thinking, jumping off the cliff like that?!_"

She mumbled under her breath, then grunted, "Later."

He sighed.

After a while of silent walking, she finally summoned up enough courage to ask timidly, "Edward...you really love me?" She shrunk against his arms, clutching his shirt, afraid that he would leave if he loosened his grip.

"Of course. Without a shadow of doubt. I love you," he answered firmly. Then, softly, he said, "Bella, I've loved you for so long, but you couldn't see it. Do you know how much it _hurt_ to have to leave you? How much _pain_ it caused me? I love you, and I've never stopped loving. And I never _will_ stop loving you. You're my sun and sky."

"If you love me, then prove it."

Edward leaned down slowly, unsure. His lips brushed hers gently, once, twice, three times. His actions were hesitant at first, then he pressed his mouth harder against Bella's for a fourth kiss. He held himself back, restraining, but pouring all his endless love and emotions into the kiss, trying to convey how hw _really _felt about the girl in his arms.

Bella was in Heaven. There was no better bliss than having Edward kiss her. At last.

"So?" he whispered breathlessly against her lips. "Do I pass? Cause I really do love you."

Then he leaned down to steal another kiss.

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**Author's Note-A different ending than New Moon, but that's how mine is.**

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End file.
